One of the biggest decisions parents must make is who will take of their children while they are at work. Anyone working with children should realize that every child is unique, even if they imitate every person they see on television. The kids at the playground, singing Lil' Romeo songs are the future leaders of our country. With that in mind, I was drawn to a flier I received in the mail from a local Tae Kwon Do academy. The dojang, as it is called in Korean, offers an after school program. The flier advertised supervised homework time with assistance from staff members, an extensive learning library with computers, character and discipline building activities, and of courseTae Kwon Do lessons. "My children can have all this after school?" I thought to myself. It sounded great, so I made an appointment to meet with the owner of the academy.
We were given a tour of the facility by the co-owner, the wife of the Tae Kwon Do Master. She showed us pictures of her children and shared her philosophy of education and discipline. She told us how Tae Kwon Do had improved her own children's behavior and concentration in school.
We decided to register the children; after signing a year's contract and putting down a substantial deposit, they were in. Kids love new things, so they were excited about their new after school surroundings. I was addressed as "ma'am" every time I spoke. That was short lived. When picking up my children, I noticed the little ones were running around wild in what was dubbed the "homework room." About 40 children were in the room; some were on computers, some were playing Playstation, board games, or Lego's, and some were actually trying to do their homework assignments. One adult and one teenager overlooked the chaos. My daughter was coming home every night still needing to complete her homework, so I told her that she had to finish her homework before she participated in Tae Kwon Do. I believe that extra curricular activities take a backseat to academics. Most school systems will not let a child play sports if their grades are not on point, but I guess when you run a dojang it's the other way around. When my daughter told the instructor that she had to finish her homework before she could take class, he actually told her "You are to listen to my rules while you are here, not your mother's."
Her grades had actually gotten worse while in this program that was supposedly proven to show improvement in school. The dojang, however had no problem with advancing her in Tae Kwon Do even though her school performance was less than what it should have been. To their surprise, I showed them that my rules are the ones that count by not allowing (and not paying for) her to take the test to advance.
When I tried to discuss these issues with the owners, I was told that they were not a licensed day care, but an after school martial arts program. In their eyes, the children were there for the sole purpose of learning Tae Kwon Do. What about the structure, discipline, and better behavior that was promised? Any child that improves their grades while attending this after school program should thank their parents, because they couldn't have learned anything from the dojang other than a roundhouse kick.
I know now to be wary of any program that makes any promises concerning my children. Discipline and structure may be the selling point to many parents for martial arts, but I say that these things are learned at home. I never expected Tae Kwon Do to take the place of home training (ask my kids, they get tired of getting corrected by us.) What I did expect was that it would go along with the values that we are teaching our kids at home. Instead, what it tried to do was lessen our authority as parents.
Parents, I do not recommend putting your children in any after school program that is not licensed by the state. That way, if the caregivers get confused and start acting like kids, you can cut it short.
By the way, we have found a very nice licensed day care program.
published April 17, 2003 in Take Me Out To The Go-Go Magazine. reprinted by permission
